festivelady

I flinch every time I hear your name And every time you cross my mind I dig my nails into the soft Flesh of my forearm I've already bitten my nails to the bone Going over our final moments Dozens of crescents marks liter my arm I can't cry my doubts away Searching for what I did wrong Reliving every smile and tear My tears turn to blood As my sorrow turns to anger Our definitions of forever Apparently differed greatly

I will repress every memory That you are in (You're in so many I don't think I'd know myself without those memories) I will destroy every part of myself That you every touched (I can still feel your hands on my back And your lips on my neck) I will burn every drawing That I did of you (There are so many because I could Never make your eyes wild enough) I will throw out the flannel That you kept for months (I can still smell your cologne on it No matter how much I wash it) I will deleted every photo That I have of you (The sooner I forget your face the better I want stop seeing it when I close my eyes) I will finally cut my unkempt hair

I regret your arms around me And every kiss that made me blush Every moment I loved you Every time I smiled at the thought of you If someone told me this was How we would end I would have laughed and then explained That our love is stronger than that But I guess it wasn't I should have listened to them I should have listened to myself I knew it was too good to be true

I stand on the edge A boulder in each pocket Staring out at the blue When will the water swallow me? I hope a strong wind will pass by And push me into the water I could finally exhale my last breath Is it still a suicide if I didn't jump? I didn't choose to leave The world chose to take me Its not my fault, the wind did it Will you hate me for this accident?

You plunged your hand into my chest Searching for my heart You ripped it out piece by piece Looking for a reason to stay You sifted through each memory Every kiss and "I love you" I suppose you didn't find what you needed Because you walked out the door when you were done Now I'm sitting crumpled on the floor Staring at the shredded remains of my heart There was nothing worth staying for I wasn't worth staying for

She looked at him like he was the sun She only exists in the summer ocean When everything is beautiful and warm She runs at the first sign of the cold He looked at her like she was the moon He could look at the night sky for hours Trying to memorize each star's location He will unravel her constellation She will understand him more than the sea He will know her more than the night They will fight the unknown together Until they are only pieces of the night sky as well

I'll never forgive you For making me weak For tricking me into thinking That we would last forever But I guess you never Promised me anything I noticed that you were changing Before you even knew it I'm glad you've grown into yourself But you left me behind Did I ever mean anything to you Or was I just a waste of time? Cause if you asked me the same question I wouldn't know how to answer Please forgive me I hope to realize soon

I think I prefer last winter It wasn't as cold as this one Well I suppose it might have been But I had you to keep me warm